This just in from an anonymous reader to our submission email address:
The fix is in on the ducks.
While we all sleep last night a clandestine team of experts installed waterproof, invisible, microscopic solar powered, electro-magnets along the course of tomorrow’s duck race. The top winning ducks have an electro-magnetic receiver cloned into their belly and hundreds of super microscopic feet all hidden beneath very fine plastic feathers. The super microscopic feet are powered by the electro-magnetic receiver as the winning ducks pass over the microscopic solar powered, electro-magnets. The winning ducks may not be the first out of the truck they will be the fastest.
The best way to defeat their evil scheme is to buy more ducks!
This is a true tale of quackery to win a few dollars.
Save the Duck